A Restaurant Owner Intervention

Hey there restaurant pros, it’s David Scott Peters and welcome to episode 19 of the Restaurant Prosperity Formula. I’ve been coaching restaurant owners since 2003 and the Restaurant Prosperity Formula is based on what the most successful restaurant owners I’ve worked with do on a daily basis to achieve their success. The basic premise of the formula centers around achieving prosperity, freedom from your restaurant and the financial freedom you deserve. To achieve prosperity, you have to follow a very specific formula made-up of leadership, systems, training, accountability and taking action. Today’s topic centers around getting more done, more accomplished and gaining more time.

In this episode, we’re going to have a serious chat about how you might be hurting your business trying to do everything yourself. We’re going to talk about how your good intentions and incredible work ethic might be hurting your business and robbing you of a personal life. Let’s get started. Are you an enabler? Oh, and if you are, let’s talk about why being the best at everything is possibly your downfall. What is an enabler? Merriam-webster. com defines the word enabler as follows. One that enables another to achieve an end, especially one who enables another to persist in self-destructive behaviors and in parentheses as substance abuse by providing excuses or by making it possible to avoid the consequences of such behavior.

Let me be very clear here. Where I’m going with this has nothing to do with substance abuse. but it does have to do with self-destructive behavior and avoidance of any negative consequences. Stay with me and I’ll get back to this. Let me tell you a little bit about my story as a manager coming up through the ranks. I can tell you I started off as a teenager, starting to work underage, but I could because I worked for the toughest manager I know, my mom. Now it sucked because my mother rode my sister and I twice as hard as anybody else because there would be no favoritism.

But in growing up in the business, in a restaurant catering business, a mom and pop, if you will, before systems were a big deal, when you had cheaper food and cheaper labor and really all you had to do is concentrate on the guests, it was still a tough business. Nothing has fundamentally changed in decades. Now this is back in the early 80s, the 1980s. I am OLD. But I started in the industry modeling my mother. She worked her *** off as an owner, as the manager. My stepfather is where they met in the restaurant industry, but my stepfather was the chef in the kitchen and I watched him put in hours and hours and hours. So I had these two role models say that if you want to be successful in the restaurant business, you have to work hard.

That possibly meant long hours. That meant doing whatever it takes to provide your guests the best experience. Now while that was really a gift for me and it allowed me to grow and elevated my career faster than anybody else around me, it didn’t do me any favors when I was a young manager. When I moved and grew in the career and I eventually started being a manager at Coyote Springs Brewing Company Cafe in Phoenix, Arizona in the early 90s, I’m young. I’m years, a few years out of college, back in the restaurant business, starting as a bartender, working my way up into management. And as I made that management role, all I wanted to do, because I’m a people pleaser, right? I’m in the hospitality business.

I wanted to please the owner and the general manager. So how could I do that? Well, I could work 70 to 80 plus hours a week. And back then I was making 21, $22,000 a year. But I loved hospitality and this is coming from somebody who tried to get out of the industry three times. I mean, it is like creating a memory, working with people on a daily basis, taking all this raw product and creating the best food possible. That’s kind of a disease, right? You really, if you truly are a hospitality professional, a restaurant pro, You get jazzed. You get jazzed even and especially like you’re in the weeds and you can you’re like the only person that can pull you out of the weeds and look how we were successful today.

There’s something about the restaurant business that just draws you in. Now as I’m working 78 hours a week, my thought process was I need to be a superhero, right? Just rip open my shirt and had that Superman S on my chest and I could do everything. I was raised by you lead by example. So if I wanted to truly make an impact, I had to run the food. I had to seat the guests. I had to clean the menus. I had to do whatever it took to make sure the guests had the best experience possible. I needed to be the superhero the restaurant floor needed. And also, my values for myself, really how I value myself, I should say. was often weighed, measured if you will, by how many hours I worked and how hard I worked. Why? Because I modeled my mother.

I modeled my stepfather. I watched them as a young teenager work their *** off to give the guest the best experience possible. Lead by example. Now this behavior manifests itself in a few ways. Well, One, it was like I needed to be the best host, server, runner and busser at the same time. that feeling like when you’re slightly short staffed and you’re going to say, okay, I’m going to seat the guest and I’m going to take the initial order and I’m going to grab the food and I’m going to run it to them. I’m going to clear the table. Heck, I might even be a server again and drop off the check if we’re a little behind and I might be a host again, welcoming them to come back.

Just running around that restaurant like a chicken with my head cut off. Two, it manifested itself in when we were staffed properly and I didn’t have to run around like a chicken with my head cut off, right? I could go at a more moderate pace. Guess what? I would still be the best host, server, food runner, busser at the same time than anyone else. Heck, I can tell you, Coyote Springs is here in Phoenix, Arizona and it’d be 118 degrees outside. We had people sitting outside with misters, so I’d be in and out of the restaurant, the doors would open, close, it got hot. And because I was running so hard, I would literally have sweat dripping down my nose, but I felt that was like a badge of honor. Look how hard I’m working.

It manifested itself in three, when the kitchen would get backed up. You’re not feeling as a manager, oh gosh, the kitchen’s about to go under. You need to do whatever you can to help them get out of the weeds, to give the guest a ticket time that’s reasonable and the best food possible. So I come in and I take over the window. I’d expo. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m a really good expo, but I’m not a fine dining expo. I don’t know fire hold. I don’t know that it takes 1/2 an hour to cook a pork chop and we need to fire that early on when we’re doing the appetizers. That’s not me. But at a brew pub, a sports bar, everything 8 to 10 minute ticket times, hell, I can work that window and stick with some of the best.

Maybe I would even kick off the guy on the fry station. And I’d say, hey, go move into another station. Why? Because I wanted to help and I knew that person was better trained because quite honestly, I don’t have the skill sets. I don’t have the culinary skills necessary to be really good in the kitchen, but I can do salads and sandwiches. I can do a fry station easily, but you don’t want to see me saute. You don’t want to see me in charge of the grill. So I’d push somebody who had better skills over and I could able, I’d be able to help. It would manifest itself in #4. When it came to my management peers, I would take on any and every project I could. I wanted to shine. Now, was it ego? Probably.

Was it that I wanted to impress the owner and the general manager and I wanted to promote and continue my career that way? Probably. Was it just the fact that I’m built that way? I want to shine. Yeah, probably so. And last but not least, #5. It showed itself this way. And I’m really going to date myself here. Remember, I’m OLD. But my pager, yes, I said my pager would go off endlessly. Yes, today it’s text messages for you on your phone. But for me, it was my pager. And it would be the restaurant. I have to call the restaurant and they’d ask me easy questions. Hey, can you come fix something? Or can you help with the rush? Can you help us figure out how we can’t balance our cash at 3 A. m.? And the list goes on.

They knew that if they needed something that I would answer that pager. I would call. Well, that didn’t set me up for having time off, to have freedom. It set me up for 70, 80 hours a week that I was important every minute I was in the building. But really was I? Now let me ask you a question. Does any of this sound like you? Especially if you came from a line position before entering management or restaurant ownership. Because as a hospitality pro, you know especially if you’ve worked your way up in your career or you have a passion for hospitality, you know that you will do whatever it takes to make sure the guest has a great experience. Now I discovered I couldn’t keep this pace up.

It literally was something I couldn’t do and I was young at the time. And I didn’t come to this revelation quickly. It took me several years of being a superhero before I came to this conclusion. But you might recognize how I came to this conclusion. I got tired, not just tired, really tired. I was so tired I became irritable. I started to resent everyone around me, both line employees and especially my peers and management. Why weren’t they doing what I was doing? Isn’t the saying lead by example? Isn’t that the saying? Well, I finally had this epiphany. Basically, one, not everyone was going to be like me. And 2, I was an enabler. I enabled people not to think. They didn’t have to come up with solution. They could page me at 3 A. m.

because they didn’t want to write down how you go step by step by step to make sure that the numbers balance at the end of the night. I enabled people not to do their jobs. I mean, it was ridiculous. At one point in time, I’d be running, running, running, sweat dropping down my nose and I’d have servers look at me like, aren’t you going to bust my table? Like I work for them. I enabled them not to care. Why should they care? They don’t have to. They just could do the bare minimum. I enabled them not to learn. Why do they need to learn? David will fix it. I enabled them not to try. I don’t need to try because even if you ask me to do something, I don’t do it right. David will do it. I enabled them not to improve. The status quo was okay.

Why? Because I was the superhero. They saw me whizzing around the restaurant. They could get on their heels, walk slowly because they didn’t have to react. David was going to do that. I was so good at doing everyone’s job at the same time. They didn’t have to be. And it got so bad that I finally noticed that basically when I physically bust a table, Even when it was slow, again, my servers would look at me in disgust, like, why didn’t you do my job? Now managers, my peers would sit back at manager meetings and let me take on every project that could offer help, right? They’d offer, it’s like, okay, yeah, I can do that. Yeah, I can do that. Oh, would they offer help? No, because David will do it. Why should they even try?

Now, There would be multiple reasons why, but for the most part, if David’s going to do it, I don’t need to do it. And finally, when I couldn’t keep up with all these things, I would overextend myself. If you spend any time listening to me, I tell you that if you try and do everything yourself, you will fail with 100% certainty. Well, I had to learn that lesson. And so When I couldn’t keep up, when I started to fail, those other managers would look at me and say sarcastic things. Oh, couldn’t a superstar couldn’t keep up, whatever it may be. Or heck, they’d even get upset because I didn’t do my job. Wait, didn’t do my job? How did everything become my job? Oh, I did it. I enabled people to not have to do anything, making everything my job.

It wasn’t their fault. It was mine. Being an enabler, being an enabler at the restaurant is being able to provide your employees and peers excuses of why they don’t have to do their jobs. It means they never get written up, never suffer consequences from not doing their jobs because you, I, will try to do it for them. Right? We’re just going to do it for them. As I said earlier, I didn’t see myself as an enabler for years. I grew up working for my mother, who was basically somebody who was a superstar in my eyes. And when I’d want to complain that somebody didn’t do something or didn’t go my way, she basically said, suck it up, Buttercup. There would be no favoritism. So that was ingrained in me.

On top of that, it was ingrained in me to provide great hospitality. It was about the guest experience. Now when I kind of figured this out, I had to have a little intervention with myself. I knew that my job had to change. I was fed up and I was tired. What I learned and you need to learn are the following. When it comes to your line employees, When it comes to your line employees, you’ve got to know when it’s time to just do it, when it’s time to ask for help or help them, I should say, and when it’s time to direct them. What do I mean?

Well, if you’re in the weeds, the place is crazy, you’ve already got bussers busing tables and you want to turn those tables as fast as possible, then guess what, owner, manager, get your *** in there and bust that table. right? We’re doing what we can. We are short staffed. The guest needs to be seated. We want to make money. Let’s get her done. But there are times where you’re busy, but it’s not critical. And so you might go, hey, Bill, follow me. Let’s start busing table 22. Take a few things up. So you got it from here. Great. That’s time to help. And then there’s time when you are, you’re doing five different things, something’s got to happen. You see people standing around and you need to direct. Bill, go get table 22.

You got to recognize that there’s times to do, time to help and time to direct. That’s when it comes to line employees, when it comes to manager tasks, owner tasks for that matter, right? basically any tasks other than your own, because you’ve got your own J-O-B, right? You’ve got your own obligations to cover. But when we start talking about looking around and seeing other things that need to be done, taking on more, that’s what I’m talking about. Here’s the deal. You cannot live life with the philosophy, if you want something done right, you need to do it yourself. That is a recipe for disaster. I cannot tell you. How many times in my life I tell people that if you try and do everything yourself, you will fail with 100% certainty.

There’s not enough time in the day. There’s not enough. There’s not enough days in the week. There’s not enough weeks in a month. There’s not enough months in a year. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I want to drive the point home. If you are truly in your business, trying to do everything yourself, there’s not enough time. You have to learn to delegate. You need to learn how to have others help. And that’s probably one of the biggest lessons is how do you successfully delegate? And I’m not talking about giving somebody something to do. Hey, would you get these things done? Because ultimately they don’t get it done.

We don’t spend the time to make sure that when you’ve got a sender and a receiver of the message, Communication 101, speech comm 101, which by the way, I was a speech comm major, graduated with a degree in interpersonal organizational communication from Northeastern University back in 1989, IMOLD. So I know a thing or two about communication. Textbook wise as well. You got a sender, you got a receiver who sends a message and that message is A, but it goes through noise. It goes through Literal noise, music, sound, background noise, fans, right? Music. But it also goes through noise of I broke up with my girlfriend, my boyfriend, and I’m having a conversation in my head. I’m sad today. I’m hungry. My stomach hurts.

It could even be noise of if somebody’s got a little bit of resentment for somebody they’re talking to. They are prejudice. They are You name it. Anything that clouds your brain. As that message goes through all that noise, it turns into message B and the receiver gets message B. And we walk away and we think, man, I delivered the message. The receiver got it, right? The manager you asked to do something got it. Yet they fail because they didn’t get it. Oh, I didn’t know you said you wanted that done. No, that’s exactly what I said, but that’s not what they heard.

We’ve got to take the time to say, hey, Receivers send back that message and hear message B back and go, no, let’s clarify until they can give you message A that we’re clear what the job is, how to do it, how well it should be done, more importantly by when. Once we know that, once they know their obligation, their JOB, they make a decision to do their job or not, and they’re ultimately answerable, AKA accountable, for doing their job or not. If you want to hear me go in great depth on how to successfully delegate, make sure you listen to my podcast #17. I’m telling you, it’s the second time I’ve told you to go back to it’s one of the most powerful lessons you will learn how to successfully delegate.

You need to make sure that you literally change three things. Number one, it really comes to your management style. When I talk about changing three things, what are these three things that are a part of your management style? You need to one, you need to implement systems for everything you do in your restaurant. There’s a system, a process, a way to doing anything and everything in your business. There’s no system too small like counting out a bar drawer to $300 the same way every single time. $2 per labor hour worked. An advanced topic looking at efficiencies and needing it in a lot of other systems to supply you those numbers. There’s a system, a process, a way to doing anything and everything in your business.

And if you spend any time following, you know it starts with checklists and cash controls because why? It allows us to impose our will without being there. It’s the foundation to all your systems. Because if I can’t get a manager to make sure all the cash makes it to the bank or follow a checklist and make sure gaskets are clean on a daily basis, what makes you think they’re ready to take inventory, shelf to sheet on a weekly basis on time accurately? So think about it. Number one, you’ve got to change. There’s a system, a process away. You’ve got to make sure they know that. Next, you’ve got to make sure that you need to edit Edit your open door management policy. What do I mean by that? Well, don’t you have an open door policy?

Hey, anytime, come on in. Well, the problem is you have such easy access, you’re such a superhero, that when things don’t get done, you fix it, right? So you got to stop fixing things for people. You got to stop thinking for them. You need to teach your management team to come to you with solutions, not problems. Now, this depends on their responsibility, their authority. Like if the air conditioner falls through the roof and my assistant manager walks in and goes, hey, the air conditioner fell through the roof, you as the owner, yeah, you got it. You got to fix that. That’s not in their realm of responsibility or authority to make that call.

But if your broadline distributor doesn’t show up with a product, instead of walking in and go, oh, you know, those steaks we needed for tonight’s party, well, XYZ distributor didn’t bring them. And what do you do? You go, and you get up, right? Throw down what you’re doing, get up and you go fix it. Because what that manager did, they learned from you that they could not do anything about it. They could come to you and you would ultimately fix it. I don’t need to think. I don’t need to learn. I don’t need to do it because you’ll do it. So instead, you need to teach your managers that when they come through your door, that they need to come to you with solutions, not problems. Hey, the broad line distributor didn’t show up with the stakes.

I called them. We could do a will call. It’d be about a three hour turnaround for me to get them. I can make that happen. Our secondary vendor has the same steaks. They’re about a dollar a pound more. They can’t be here until 4 o’clock and we’ve got to be prepped and ready by 5. Or I go across the street at the grocery store and I could pick up some steaks. I think probably the best course of action is go get the steaks across the street. What would you like me to do? Well, holy crap. You’d be like, well, did you think of #4? You could do this. Could you look into that, come back to me? Or you could say, I really like #1 and I’ll go drive there. Or your third option is a great idea. But see, now they’re thinking for themselves.

You’re showing them that you’re listening and that they have value and that they can do things on their own instead of calling you in the middle of the night, say, hey, would you please bring your tool kit because there’s a leaky faucet in the kitchen. When they could go to the hardware store and buy a 20 cent rubber O-ring and grab a plier and change it, you don’t have to be that person. You don’t have to be the superhero. Last but not least, you need to hold them accountable. Didn’t I talk about at the beginning of this, that a part of being an enabler is allowing people to avoid consequences. Well, there are consequences. If you don’t do your J-O-B, you may get written up.

And when I write up a manager, I will only write up a manager once. They’re either so embarrassed that they’re going to toe the rope or they’re going to go find another job. Either way, I win. I do not want people on my team to sabotage what I’m trying to get done. I’d rather be short staffed than have the wrong people on my team. So you need to train them all what their job is, how to do it, how well it should be done, especially by when. And if you truly want to make sure you can hold them accountable, remember that podcast, number 17? Go listen to it. Not only do I teach you how to delegate, but I teach you the step-by-step way to hold someone answerable.

Because when you do it right, when you teach them what their job is, how to do it, how well it should be done, more importantly by when, and they show you they got it, You’re not the bad guy if you write them up. They know they screwed up because it’s clear what their job is. So here’s the deal. It’s okay to be the best at what you do. It’s just not to be the only person who does anything. Do you understand? You can be a superhero, but the superhero that teaches, trains, coaches, holds people accountable, yes, there are times you will do. There are times that you will help and there’s times that you will direct. But ultimately, you cannot do everyone’s job at the same time. You’ll fail. So let’s look at it this way.

Today was your intervention to stop being an enabler and to start viewing your systems and your tasks as your framework for success. Because now you understand that you have to train your team to your expectations. You need to coach them to your expectations and ultimately hold them accountable to your expectations, even if it means they quit or get fired. I will tell you this lesson has stuck with me throughout my career and since 2003, since I’ve been coaching independent restaurant owners and their managers. I’ve literally conducted this intervention with owners and managers countless times. In fact, I tell you damn near on a daily basis I go through this, that you’re not the person who can do everything. You cannot do everything.

We need others to help. But that’s not going to change until you can recognize if you’re the enabler. And I will tell you this, if you need help recognizing if that’s you, if you need help just changing your ways, Understanding that there is literally a formula on how to get others to do things, how to put systems in place, how to achieve restaurant prosperity, freedom from your restaurant and the financial freedom you deserve because you have managers who know what their job is, how to do it, how well it should be done, more importantly by when, giving you the ability to leave your restaurant knowing it’s being done your way when you’re there, but especially when you’re not, then I’m going to tell you it might be a good idea.

If you want some hope, hope for change, to change your mindset, to get these things done, you should hop on a discovery call with me. I’ll be more than happy to help because I know from experience what it is to be that enabler. And today’s your day to change. Hey, that was an awesome episode. I want to thank you for taking the time to take action on building a better, more prosperous restaurant. Before you go, I want to give you these three thoughts. One, by combining leadership and taking action with systems and training being checked by accountability, you are on your way to creating prosperity for you and your restaurant. Two, I have something I need from you.

Please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you happen to listen to podcasts. By leaving us a review, other restaurant pros seeking out this information are able to find it. I read the reviews and hearing how this information has benefited you does wonders for me. And 3, if you find any of the discussions helpful, share them. The more restaurant pros who have access to them, the better we become as an industry. For more restaurant resources or to get in contact with me, connect with me at DavidScottPeters. com. Be passionate about what you’re doing. Be persistent. But more importantly, become better and help everyone around you become better. And your restaurant is going to kick some ***.

If you’re tired of not being able to leave your restaurant because no one else knows how to run it, I want to make sure you know it doesn’t have to be that way. You can leave your restaurant. It is possible to build a team of people who know how you want the restaurant to run. With these trained and responsible people in place, you can give yourself time away. What would you do if you had time away from your restaurant? Would you sleep better? Would your relationships improve? Would you feel more relaxed? These are all things you deserve to experience as a business owner. It’s why we own our own businesses.

If you would like to learn how to own a restaurant that doesn’t depend on you to be successful, click the link in the description to watch a free training course that teaches you exactly what you have to do. Also, be sure to subscribe to get my weekly tips and watch these two videos to get more information and guidance for running a successful restaurant.