Leadership Expert Shares Insights for Restaurant Owners

Hey there, restaurant pros. It’s David Scott Peters, and welcome to the Restaurant Prosperity Formula podcast.

For over two decades, I’ve been guiding restaurant owners to success with the proven principles of something I call the Restaurant Prosperity Formula. I originally created the formula based on the daily practices of the most successful restaurateurs I’ve coached, and it’s now the foundation of what I teach restaurant owners like you so you can achieve success.

What do I mean by success? Success is a restaurant owner who dictates the terms of their life and their bank account instead of their restaurant dictating those things for them. Success is a restaurant owner who has freedom from the restaurant and the financial freedom they never thought possible.

How you define success is up to you, but I do know the way to achieving it is using the Restaurant Prosperity Formula.

This season, I’m diving even deeper into the core elements of the formula: leadership, systems, training, accountability, and taking action. Along with my insights, you’ll hear from special guests, industry experts, and inspiring success stories from fellow restaurant owners who’ve turned their businesses around and found their definition of success.

In this episode, number 132, our guest is Doug Dr. Luff Loughborough III, President and CEO of Higher Level Leadership.

Dr. Luff is an overcomer. As the son of a single-parent housekeeper, he is a first-generation college graduate. He received his bachelor’s degree in business administration from Northeastern University, a master’s degree from Harvard University Graduate School of Education, and a PhD in leadership studies and organizational consulting from the University of San Diego.

Dr. Luff is a first-class keynote speaker, leadership consultant, and personal growth coach. He is also the author of Watch Me Rise: From Streets of Despair to the Halls of the Ivy League.

Listen in to our conversation as Dr. Luff tells his incredible story of going from homeless to Harvard, demonstrating that you can make your dreams come true no matter your circumstances. We’ll talk about the importance of a healthy and happy life, knowing what kind of leader you are, and getting the most out of your leaders.

The biggest takeaway from our discussion is how all of these things are tied together.

Let’s get started.

Dr. Luff, I want to thank you so much for doing this with me today.

Thank you so much for having me.

I would not miss it. I would not miss it because what people are going to learn is that we’ve known each other for a very long time.

I’m going to let you share your story because it’s a very unique, very special story. It’s not one that everybody is going to look back on in their life and go, “Hey, I can associate with that.” I’m sure there will be some.

But with that said, you’ve had an illustrious career. You have become an incredible speaker, somebody who motivates businesses, gets them in the right place, and coaches people into better lives. It’s pretty amazing what you’ve done over the years.

Just to give people a little idea, we first met in 1988, so it’s been a long time. During that time, we lost touch. We reconnected at my old company, where I had you come speak to a group. I’ll probably have you come speak to my group here in Vegas at some point.

With that said, I’m excited to have you on here because you’ve given us material that we put on our member site, where our actual members can view it and learn about leadership. I’ve also got you to ask questions about.

Again, I want to thank you so much. But let’s start off with your story because it’s not an everyday kind of story.

Sure, absolutely. Well, first and foremost, David Scott Peters, I love you, man. I’m so excited that we reconnected and about what you’re doing.

For folks who are joining us, my name is Doug Loughborough, but I go by Dr. Luff.

I grew up in Worcester, Massachusetts, in very humble circumstances. I’m the oldest son of a housekeeper. My father was not in my life, so life was challenging.

My greatest dream was to go to college. That dream was almost deferred when my guidance counselor told me five words I’ll never forget: “You are not college material.”

It was a really tough time for me because I was also homeless when I was a senior in high school. But my greatest ambition was to go to college.

Never let someone’s opinion of you become your reality. Only you can determine that. That’s what I heard from Les Brown.

So I decided I was going to go to college. The number one school for me was Northeastern University because they had a co-op program.

But I had some challenges to overcome to get there.

As a freshman, living in university housing was how I was able to stop being homeless. I went straight from the streets of Worcester to becoming a freshman in your dorm at Northeastern.

I have to say, we met briefly during my freshman year, but it’s a time I’ll never forget because you were kind of like a big brother to me. I think I’ve told you this, but you were like a big brother. You saw promise in me, I think, and helped me figure things out that first year.

From that first year on, the sky was the limit.

By the time I was a senior at Northeastern University, I became the student commencement speaker for my class. I was RA of the year, following in your footsteps, and I preceded former President Bill Clinton at the Boston Garden, live on national television, at 23 years old.

Some could say that was the start of my speaking career.

Yeah, and it’s a pretty amazing speech. I’ve watched it a number of times.

I just want people to understand that you were homeless. I want that to sink in. You had a dream to go to college, and there was nothing that was going to stop you. You got scholarships and room and board, and you found your way to college from being homeless.

I also want people to understand that we met because I was the youngest RDA, or resident director assistant. You had to be a graduate student, and I wasn’t. I was a senior in college because we were at a satellite dorm, which was Wentworth College. We took over two of their floors in one of their dorms because we were over capacity.

So here I was, a senior in what should have been a graduate position. I took in my guys. We had two floors of all-male freshmen.

I had no idea that you were homeless. You were just another one of the guys. I think that was fantastic.

I want to hear your perspective because you blended right in. I don’t think anybody ever looked at you any differently than, “Hey, you’re just another student here.”

You had a good network of friends very quickly, especially on the fourth floor, I think, instead of the fifth. Spidey and the boys. They were great people.

Talk about your perspective of coming in there, getting that fresh start, and what that meant to you.

I have to say, my greatest dream in life up until that point was to go to college. So when that dream came true, I was on cloud nine.

At the same time, there was a level of expectation. I was here, I deserved to be here, and I was going to graduate.

What a lot of folks didn’t realize was that I took a Greyhound bus. My mom didn’t move me in, and I didn’t have family members helping me move in.

Most of the folks lining up outside Baker Hall had their Expeditions with little U-Hauls attached. They were bringing in their little refrigerators and putting out all their little trinkets to set up their dorm rooms.

I had a backpack and a pillow, you know?

But it didn’t matter. I was in college.

I had an attitude of gratitude, which is something I believe in. No matter how hard life hits you, if you have an attitude of gratitude, great things will come your way.

In high school, even though I was homeless, I was voted best personality. So I took that best personality from high school and applied it to every area of my life, including my freshman year at Northeastern.

But there was one thing for sure: I was not going back home because I didn’t have a home to go to.

Being able to rest my head at Baker Hall was my saving grace. So I decided I was going to take full advantage of everything Northeastern University offered.

You certainly did, because I remember we talked about how you needed room and board to stay there. You became the youngest RA a year before anybody was supposed to be an RA. I had to wait until my middle year, and you got in there early.

I just want you to know that I was the top scorer in my class of RAs. Just so we’re clear.

Hey, you know what? No doubt. I was very impressed.

But not only did I want to be an RA and model student leadership while helping other students navigate college, it was a necessity. The only way I could stay at Northeastern was to have my room and board paid for.

So I did what I needed to do.

We lost contact because I moved out west, and you also wanted to go to Harvard.

In fact, I wish I could pull up the book, but I think it’s behind me. If you’ve got one in front of you, talk about your book and how you’ve written your story, Homeless to Harvard. You went to Harvard afterward and graduated there as well.

How the heck did you decide to do that?

Yeah, you know, graduation at Northeastern was pretty phenomenal. Like you said, the speech is on YouTube.

I’ve always believed that you ask for what you want.

Before graduation, I was interviewed by USA Today. The reporter said, “Hey, we know that you’re going to be speaking right before the president of the United States. When you have an opportunity to speak with him, what are you going to ask him?”

My mom taught me that you need to be prepared to ask for what you want in life. What’s the worst they can do? Say no, and you’ll be exactly where you are. But what if they say yes?

So I looked at the reporter without skipping a beat and said, “My mother’s been a housekeeper for 23 years. I can’t think of a better place to visit than the White House.”

And you know what that reporter did? He printed the exact quote in USA Today.

When the president of the United States went to speak after me at graduation, he stopped during his speech and said, “I also read an article about Doug and his mother and his trials. In this article, he plans to invite himself and his mom to the White House.”

Everyone at the Garden started laughing. People thought, “Wow, this guy. This is cute.”

Then the next thing the president said was, “I’m going to do just that. I’d like for Doug and his mother to come to the White House.”

He went on and on, giving accolades to my mom and to parents who support their children.

And so we went to the White House.

How I got to Harvard was connected to that visit. When I was leaving the Oval Office, the president put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Doug, if there’s ever anything I could do for you, let me know.”

I went back home and worked at a domestic Peace Corps called City Year in Boston.

Everyone at City Year seemed to have gone to Harvard. The founders had attended Harvard Law School. The guy I worked with had a wife who started Care.com and had gone to Harvard Business School. Another friend went to the Graduate School of Education, and another went to the Kennedy School and the Divinity School.

So I said, “Why not me?”

I looked up the number one graduate school in education, which was Harvard, and talked my brother into applying with me.

Then I said, “Hold on, Darrell. Before we submit our applications, I remember that there’s a president who’s still in office who said, ‘If there’s anything I could do for you, let me know.’”

I had George Stephanopoulos’s phone number. He was like the chief of staff.

I called him up, told him who I was, and explained that the president had said he’d help if he could. My brother and I were applying to Harvard, and anything the president could do would be greatly appreciated.

He contacted the president of Harvard at the time, Lawrence Summers, and also spoke to the late Senator Ted Kennedy and Senator Kerry.

We received letters of recommendation from both senators. Doug and Darrell Loughborough got into Harvard and completed their studies there.

Then I wrote Watch Me Rise: From the Streets of Despair to the Halls of the Ivy League.

It’s really my story of growing up poor in a challenging situation, graduating from Northeastern, going to Harvard, and visiting the White House.

It’s meant to inspire people to understand that it’s never too late to reach your dreams and goals. You just have to stick with it.

It is just amazing, absolutely amazing, because so many of us don’t ask the question. We don’t have the confidence to say, “I’m going to get what I want.”

I very much subscribe to a lot of what you talk about. If I have a goal, I’ll do anything I can to get there.

I’m not as confident about asking for what I want, actually asking people, because you’re right. If you don’t ask, you don’t know. Sometimes I’d just rather work harder.

So it’s amazing.

Now you take your inspirational story, your trials and tribulations from homeless to Harvard, and the huge strides you’ve made in your life. How did you discover your passion for taking what you’ve learned, the positivity, the motivation, and the knowledge that you can get through any challenge, and convert that into becoming a keynote speaker, leadership consultant, and personal growth coach?

That’s an awful lot, but it all has something in common: getting people to move forward in their lives and achieve their dreams.

How did you figure that out?

That’s right. Well, like I said, I’ve been doing it for a long time. The process started in 1993.

I worked in an industry for most of my life, but I’ve always stayed true to that passion. First and foremost, it was speaking.

I had a stuttering impediment in third grade, and kids used to make fun of me all the time. I decided I was going to be a professional speaker and use the words kids used to laugh at me for to inspire a nation.

That’s kind of how I felt in third grade. I didn’t know how to do it. I didn’t know how it was all going to come together.

But it made sense at the age of 23 when I was the student commencement speaker for my class. I realized that I hadn’t done it by accident. It was deeply rooted in why I wanted to do it. I did it because of that third-grade experience and because my journey had prepared me for it.

After that, at 23, I knew I wanted to continue speaking and inspiring other people, helping them get from where they are to where they want to be.

I wanted to inspire people to say, “You know what? I am better than this. I deserve better.”

That’s where the passion came from. I had a stuttering impediment, and I decided that I wanted to dedicate my life to confronting the thing that scared me most: public speaking.

I wasn’t going to stop until I perfected it.

I still stutter when I get excited, but most of the time, I stutter on purpose. I’m not going to let that stop me.

Folks, I love speaking at conferences where people gather together. It’s a perfect place because people are looking for inspiration, positivity, and change.

It’s not that I’m going to say something and your life is going to change right away. The change happens in you. The change happens within people.

But sometimes they have to hear things. They have to hear concepts and connect with people who reinvigorate them from the inside.

The leadership consulting stems from getting my PhD. I have a PhD from USD in leadership studies. I spent seven years earning it, learning not only leadership theory but also how to put that theory into action in a business.

I help businesses do that through consulting.

The third area is personal growth coaching.

This is personal to me.

I’ve met so many successful people in business for whom money isn’t the issue. A brand-new building, cars, and material things aren’t the issue. They’ve been very successful in those areas.

Where they’ve struggled, or where I dare to say they’ve failed, is with their families. They’ve struggled to keep their marriages together. They have children who don’t want to talk to them.

That’s deeply rooted in something very personal to me.

I grew up without a father. My father was not in my life. For about half my life, I kept thinking I was the problem, that I was the reason he disappeared.

In the other half of my life, I realized it had nothing to do with me and that I had an opportunity to be the father I never had and be present in my children’s lives.

So I’m very passionate about helping people grow personally.

It’s a private thing, something very intimate, but I get the most satisfaction from seeing families restored, marriages healed, and children talking to their parents again and enjoying themselves.

Because beyond work and career, what matters most is the people close to you in your life. It should be a good experience, not a bad one.

We’re going to circle back to the leadership part because I wholeheartedly believe that the number one reason restaurants fail, or any business for that matter, is a lack of leadership.

It’s the number one piece in the Restaurant Prosperity Formula.

We’re going to circle back to that, but I want to stay on this personal growth part.

Part of what we do is talk about restaurant prosperity as freedom from your restaurant and the financial freedom you deserve.

The reason we start with freedom from your restaurant is that most entrepreneurs, especially in the restaurant industry, donate their lives to their businesses.

We donate our lives. We think we’re doing it for our families. We lie to ourselves.

“I’m going to work my ass off. This is for my family.”

But a lot of the time, it’s for your ego or because you haven’t learned to delegate and lead. It’s because your business requires you to be there based on how you’ve set it up.

What happens is that we don’t spend time with our families. We miss the 80th birthday party. We miss the 25th anniversary. We miss the kids’ first T-ball game. We miss game after game, recitals, and everything else because we have to go to work.

And we tell ourselves, “I’m doing this for you, my family.”

It tears people up, whether it’s you as an individual or, especially, your family and friends.

Even if they get you to go out to dinner, you’re not present. You’re on your phone. You get up from the table and say, “I’ve got to take this call.”

You go out, come back, and everybody has finished their meal. Your food is cold, and your partner is looking at you like, “You did it again. You said you’d be here. You said you’d be present, and you weren’t.”

I really want you to expand a little on the personal growth part. How do you help somebody navigate that?

I approach it from the systems side and the leadership side, too. But there’s a lot of baggage we carry.

How do you sift through that baggage and help guide somebody through it?

I think you hit the nail on the head. That’s exactly why I do it.

I think our first order of business is at home.

A true leader will put a stake in the ground and figure out what they need to do to be at that graduation, because that’s what the child remembers most.

They don’t remember that you’ve had 20 restaurants, that you fly around the world, or that you take your kids to Bora Bora. They might be there with you, but they don’t want anything to do with you.

A true leader, and I say this with all humility, makes sure that home is taken care of first, before the brick and mortar.

Another thing is that a lot of this is generational.

They grew up in a family that didn’t come to see them play. They grew up in a family where Dad was never home, maybe smoking all the time, drinking all the time, or engaging in abusive behavior.

How do you deal with that?

One thing is to get help. If you get the help you need in those areas, you can begin to make changes.

What I do is work through questioning and experience.

I’ll also say that I’m a spiritual person, so I bring that aspect into my work. But I also work with people who aren’t spiritual because I believe in leadership through the heart first, then the head.

If I can get to your heart, using the language I often use, I can get to your head, and everything else will work out.

I truly believe it’s from the heart to the head.

It really matters.

When we talk about how I do this, first of all, people have to be vulnerable enough to say, “Hey, you know what? I want to get better in this area of my life, and I need help with it.”

I know from experience, David Scott Peters, that a big reason I do this is because I have to be a leader of my own message.

I wasn’t there for my kids during certain periods of their lives. I missed their baseball practices. I worked, and in some cases still work, around the clock.

There’s no off shift.

What I’ve had to learn through this process is to turn it off.

The leadership component is about empowering, equipping, and leveraging other people who work for you so you can take that time off.

That’s critical.

It’s not really hard to do. It’s more about understanding, letting go, and putting your ego aside.

You have to say, “Look, I do have a number two.”

And if you don’t have a number two, you better get one.

One thing I do in my leadership consulting is a Leadership Compass workshop.

It’s a simple concept based on the directions of the compass. I believe people naturally lean toward one of four directions: north, south, east, or west.

North represents a person of action. East represents a person of vision. South represents a person of empathy. West represents a person of analysis.

We start there. Pick the one that resonates most with you.

For me, it’s north, and my number two is east. I’m a person of action and vision. I like to get things done, and I naturally operate well in those domains.

A lot of people don’t understand their leadership styles or what they bring to the table.

There are a whole host of things we do when we’re in north or east. If we lean too heavily into one direction, we can turn people off.

For example, if I’m too much of a north, people might see me as a bully, someone who pushes through things like a bull in a china shop just to get things done.

If I’m too much of an east, I might spend my time daydreaming about the restaurants I want to open in another country instead of taking care of the restaurants here in America.

That’s the general concept.

Once you know your leadership style, it’s important to understand it because it can explain how you make decisions.

But the next level of the compass is understanding all four directions and recognizing what’s missing from the room.

Just because I’m a northeast, when I really master the Leadership Compass, I can walk into a room and realize there’s no west in the room. Nobody is bringing the analytical perspective, looking over the spreadsheet, or checking the list of supplies we’re supposed to have against what we actually have.

I need to be a west, or I need to hire a strong west.

In your particular business and industry, the restaurant industry, south is huge.

You need people who can greet guests and say, “Hey, how are you doing? Welcome. How many are in your party?”

You need people who love people, including servers and others who naturally connect with guests.

You can’t have only north personalities, or people with very strong personalities, greeting everyone who walks in the door. Guests might be from out of town and unfamiliar with the local culture, but they love your restaurant.

You want to have a south there.

I teach leaders how to connect with people and build teams within their companies that have all areas of the compass represented.

The compass also relates to departments.

Your west personalities are where you’ll find bookkeepers, financial analysts, and CFOs.

East represents vision. That’s where you’ll find marketing and communications people who attract customers to your restaurant because they can see possibilities and know how to use social media.

Then you have your south personalities. When your doors open, the face guests see should be someone who gravitates toward people and makes them feel comfortable.

At the north, you’ll probably have the leader of the restaurant. That’s the person who takes responsibility when the buck stops with them.

These are the kinds of things I teach through the Leadership Compass.

You’ve done training for me live, and you have training on this inside our website.

It’s very simple to understand, but it’s a complex thing to put into practice.

It’s one thing to say, “I get it.” It’s another to say, “I’m going to use this compass to understand who should be on my team.”

You talked about it just a moment ago. You don’t want a whole bunch of people like yourself.

I talk about this all the time. You want north, south, east, and west on your team so that nothing gets missed.

If we’ve got nothing but north personalities, we’re all taking action and doing things ourselves, and we’re probably never asking for help.

If we’re all visionaries, nobody is doing a damn thing.

If we’re all focused on hospitality, we’re taking care of guests, but we might not be paying the bills, handling HR, or marketing the business.

If we’re all analytical, we can end up with analysis paralysis. We’re afraid to make decisions because the numbers don’t line up perfectly.

You’ve got to have a team that brings all those perspectives.

As a leader, one of the most important things you can do is understand everybody’s leadership style. That means learning how to communicate with them and motivate them.

At some point, you might have a south whose secondary style is analysis. You might be able to tap into that analytical side and move them into a new role that suits them.

Talk a little about that because it’s powerful.

You hit it. That’s leadership.

I started with the first thing: you need to know your leadership style and feel comfortable with it.

But the next level is being able to walk into a room and figure out which leadership style is missing.

The other piece you brought up was connecting with people.

Let’s use your example of someone who is southwest, with empathy as their primary style.

The first thing you say to a south is, “Hey, how are you feeling? How are you doing?”

Don’t mention work right away, because the south cares about whether you care about them.

And when a south gets quiet, you should get worried if they normally talk a lot.

In your scenario, if you know your people, you know who is on your team and what their styles are.

Great leadership means recognizing those differences.

For example, I might have an accounting team, but my accountant lacks empathy. As a result, they turn people off during payday and don’t communicate well with employees.

There might be an opportunity to work with someone who is south-dominant, who works at the front door but also went to school to become an accountant.

That person might be well suited to the accounting role if you develop their skills and support them appropriately.

You can train a replacement and make the transition seamless, without imposing unnecessary disruption.

That’s leadership.

What’s beautiful about this is that it complements exactly what we do.

We teach people systems, and the systems component means there’s a process for doing anything and everything.

We take the personality out of the process and teach a system that anyone can follow. It means we have trained replacements.

But the beautiful part about adding an understanding of leadership styles is that you can select the right people to continue those systems, put the right people in the right roles, and, more importantly, learn how to motivate them to get the most out of them and benefit the whole organization.

It’s okay to say, “I’ve got systems that make up for your weaknesses.”

That’s what I talk about with leaders.

If you’re a numbers person, I sometimes contrast that with what I call the social worker or the giver. They want to take care of guests. They’re focused on hospitality, but they may ignore the numbers and systems, and the business suffers.

On the other hand, the numbers person often knows all the numbers and systems but is impatient with people and doesn’t communicate what they want.

The systems bring you into the middle. In our model, that means becoming the captain of the ship, the leader your restaurant needs.

You may naturally be one type or the other, but the systems make up for your weaknesses.

You take it to the next level by mapping out how you talk to people, how you select those people, and how you lead them.

Whether you’re the giver, the numbers person, or someone who finds their way into being the captain, it doesn’t matter. You’re going to learn to lead your team, lead your business, and maximize everybody’s strengths.

Am I oversimplifying that?

No.

What really intrigued me when I first learned the compass, and this is relevant to the restaurant business, is that I truly believe successful businesses have all four areas of the compass in full motion.

They have leaders who are strong in all four directions: north, south, east, and west. They also have the ability to acknowledge when they’re wrong, when they’re heading down the wrong road with their leadership style, or when they’re being too aggressive if they’re a north or daydreaming too much if they’re an east.

I would submit to you, and we could play this out over and over with companies, that one company I think about is Blockbuster.

You remember back in the day when Blockbuster was on every block?

“Friday night. What are you doing?”

“We’re going down to Blockbuster. We’ve got to get some popcorn. We’re going to pay a thousand dollars for the big Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, and we’re going to grab a couple of movies for the weekend.”

It was the thing to do.

It was so popular that when I found out Blockbuster went under, I was shocked. During that era, I thought, “What in the world?”

I submit to you that in their boardroom, when they were talking about where they were going and their strategic plan, their five- and ten-year plan, they didn’t have an east leader in that room.

If they had more east personalities in the boardroom, they might have predicted Netflix and where the industry was heading.

That’s what an east does. An east thinks about the future.

That’s why east personalities frustrate a lot of people. Everyone else is working in the present, and they’re talking about things that don’t exist yet.

You can connect that with Google, Apple, Elon Musk, and other innovators. They have strong east characteristics.

Uber changed the game because of an east.

I say all that because I believe businesses succeed and fail based on whether they have all areas of the compass represented.

Maybe they’re missing the west, and they do a terrible job of keeping their books.

Or maybe they have great food that tastes wonderful, but the hostess is offending people by looking them up and down and giving them a sly look as if they don’t belong there.

I’ve witnessed that myself when I go to restaurants.

I’m not going to name any restaurants, but I’m in San Diego County, and I can’t name five restaurants I absolutely love.

Yeah.

The reason is that when I walk in, I ask myself whether I feel appreciated and valued.

Second, is the food good?

Third, do they provide conversation, or are they just trying to get me out of there?

I went to see a ball game when the Red Sox came to town. I’m from Boston, so it was Red Sox versus Padres.

I went to a local establishment and ordered something to drink and something to eat. They also gave me my check before I’d even taken the first bite.

They were already putting the check down.

What is that saying? “We don’t want you here, brother. Eat your food and get the hell out.”

That’s how I took it.

I’d say that person wasn’t a south. Maybe I’m not exaggerating when I say they didn’t care about their job. That person shouldn’t have been in that position.

I won’t go back there again.

Or it could be that the leader is just focused on making money. “Money, money, money, money, money,” and forgetting that we’re in the hospitality industry.

Right.

Or it could be a north who’s really giving it to their employees because they can’t make payroll and they’re frustrated and stressed out. Now they’re taking that frustration out on the people who work for them.

Let’s bring this full circle.

That situation happens all the time.

I have people who join our program who are just looking to improve their margins by a percentage point or two because the economy is struggling and inflation has hit them. I have others who need to save their businesses, and everything in between.

There’s a level of fear and a need to take action at all costs when your back is against the wall.

In some cases, that’s when we’re potentially the most ingenious, when we have no choice but to make changes.

But, as you just pointed out, sometimes that stress affects how we communicate with our teams.

We become short-tempered, fearful, and demanding. All those things affect our businesses.

Let’s bring it back to the bigger picture.

If I’m that kind of person and that’s happening to me, it also means I might not be doing the things I need to do at home. I’m not communicating with my significant other, friends, and family.

Talk about how those two pieces are interconnected when you work with people on both sides.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I started by saying that it begins at home.

You have the pressures of the business, but if you’re unhappy in your personal life, if the home situation isn’t settled, you bring that into work.

Or you start making decisions in your work life that are even more damaging. You might use work as a way to vent, or engage in behaviors outside your relationship to cope, making things even worse.

The best thing to do is bring in someone who has been through it, someone who has experienced it and perhaps sits outside your circle, like a David Scott Peters, to help.

I’m not just saying that because I know you. I’m saying it because sometimes people need someone who has been there and done that to come in and offer a different perspective.

It’s hard to see the forest for the trees when you’re in the middle of it.

That’s one thing.

The second is to get back to something simple.

If you were to close your eyes and put everything aside for a moment, what is one thing that would bring you joy and happiness right now? What is one positive thing you could do right now that would move you in the right direction?

What gives you joy?

Let’s do that.

Try to do that every single day. Spend time doing something that brings you joy.

That doesn’t mean your problems will disappear, but the way you manage and handle them will be different.

For me, as I said, I’m a spiritual person. Every day, I read a one-year Bible. I start my day with that because I enjoy it.

Then I walk the dog every day.

On my walk, I talk to myself. I’m not crazy, but I’m talking to myself. I visualize where I want to go, who I want to be, what I need to do, and what strongholds in my life I need to break free from now, not later.

I do that on my walk every single day.

Then I come home and water the grass.

I love watering the grass. We have sprinklers and everything, but I love doing it myself. It’s therapeutic.

Whatever it is for you, find something therapeutic.

What happens when people get to that point is that they’re doing things for other people and not taking care of themselves.

Sometimes it’s the little things, like going to the gym or rowing. These things might seem insignificant to other people, but they can be a huge foundation for who you are and how you got to where you are.

Go back to those things, whether it’s pickleball, golf, or something else. There are so many small, simple things you can do.

I go to the gym Monday through Friday. On the weekends, it’s optional, but during the week, it’s non-negotiable.

I do the same thing every time. I spend 15 minutes in the sauna and 15 minutes in the steam room.

What am I doing? I’m meditating. I’m thinking about my preferred future. I’m thinking about the things I need to get right in my life.

And you know what happens? Usually, when I do that, people will come to me with something I need to address.

Maybe I had a really crazy conversation with David Scott Peters, and I need to fix it. That realization will happen in the sauna.

“You’ve got to follow through with that.”

But you need that personal space, a place where you can relax and enjoy yourself, because the work will always be there.

I also truly believe that everyone needs a number two.

Every Batman needs a Robin.

In the family, sometimes that person is your spouse. But at work, you need another number two.

And in the long term, for people who are really successful in business, it’s important to think about who will be your successor.

You didn’t build all this just to have it disappear when you die.

All these things are really important.

Fantastic. I appreciate you going deep on that because it really is all connected.

You cannot silo off your life. It’s all there.

I think we’re talking about the same messages, perhaps with different approaches to getting there.

I’m hoping, and this is why I wanted to bring you on, that you might be the person delivering the message someone needs to hear to start changing their life and their business.

I couldn’t think of anybody better.

If somebody wanted to reach out to you, let’s talk about that. I want you to tell people how they can find and contact you. I also want you to talk about your book because my name is in it. I’m actually in the book, just so people know.

I was famous before I wrote my own book. I was in your book.

So talk about how people can contact you and find Watch Me Rise.

Yes, the best way is through my website. I rebranded myself and worked with a company to rebrand the Dr. Luff message.

Go to my website, drluff.com.

And that’s L-U-F-F.

Yes, D-R-L-U-F-F.com.

You’ll find information about me, read more about my story and the services I provide, and order the book Watch Me Rise.

It can all be done through drluff.com.

My social media platforms are also under Dr. Luff.

I would love to connect with and help people who are going through tough times.

That’s awesome. I really appreciate you doing this.

Before we take off, I always ask my guests if there’s one thing they wish we had talked about, something they want to discuss before we go, a favorite book, or a favorite quote they’d like to leave us with.

What would that be for you?

First and foremost, David Scott Peters, I love you. I’m so glad we reconnected after all these years, and I hope we can continue working together.

For those listening, I told David Scott Peters that the next time he has a conference, I’ll set up the room, open the door, collect the tickets, whatever, because I like hanging out with him.

He’s a great guy. He was back then, and he is now.

My favorite book, I have to say, is Watch Me Rise. I still read it for daily inspiration because sometimes I forget how far I’ve come. I have to go back and read it.

My favorite quote is something I say all the time:

“In order to go to places that you know you’ve been destined to go, you have to be willing to do things that other people just won’t do, and do it over and over again, until what you do becomes who you are and who you are becomes what you do.”

Amen to that.

Because that’s truly who you are. You are your actions, right? Ultimately, you are your actions, not who you think you want to be, but who you actually are and how you live every day.

Dr. Luff, AKA Doug Demi, I appreciate you doing this. I’ll probably do it again. I’ll get you to one of the seminars to sit in. You don’t have to take tickets.

We’ll also probably get you into a Mastery Plus meeting and bring you in to talk to my group.

Thank you so much for doing this. I really appreciate you.

Thank you, brother.

Hey, that was an awesome episode.

I want to thank you for taking the time to take action on building a better, more prosperous restaurant.

Before you go, I want to leave you with three thoughts.

First, by combining leadership and taking action with systems and training, supported by accountability, you’re on your way to creating prosperity for yourself and your restaurant.

Second, I have something I need from you. Please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you happen to listen to podcasts. By leaving us a review, other restaurant pros seeking this information will be able to find it.

I read the reviews, and hearing how this information has benefited you does wonders for me.

Third, if you find any of these discussions helpful, share them. The more restaurant pros who have access to them, the better we become as an industry.

For more restaurant resources or to get in contact with me, connect with me at DavidScottPeters.com.

Be passionate about what you’re doing. Be persistent. But more importantly, become better and help everyone around you become better, and your restaurant is going to kick some ass.