How Restaurant Owner Stopped Managing and Started Leading

In episode 124 of The Restaurant Prosperity Formula podcast, I sit down with longtime friend, client, and now colleague, David Militello. Militello is a restaurant owner in South Haven, Michigan, and one of the first five members I ever coached. Over the years, he’s evolved from a struggling operator to a master of restaurant systems—and now serves as a member mentor in our group coaching program. In this episode, Militello shares his journey from burnout to balance, the lessons he’s learned about leadership, and why the shift from operator to owner is so critical. Listeners will hear what it really takes to implement systems, build empowered teams and stay disciplined even when the restaurant world pulls you in a thousand directions.

Militello and I go way back. He was one of the very first restaurant owners to attend one of my coaching workshops in 2005. He signed up immediately, eager to get out of the chaos and into control. Over time, he went from client to team member, coaching alongside me and consulting with restaurants across the country. Today, he’s back in the fold as a mentor to members of our Restaurant Transformation Intensive program.

Learning the systems and letting go of control

Militello opened his first restaurant in 1998 and, like many of you, was working 100-hour weeks, burning out, and searching for a better way. When he discovered our systems, he dove in, mastering them across his multiple locations. The biggest shift for Militello wasn’t just learning the systems; it was learning to let go. Like many owners, he believed no one could do things as well as he could. But over time, he saw that when properly trained, his team could not only handle the job, they could thrive in it.

When systems slide and discipline wanes

Even seasoned operators like Militello fall into the trap of relaxing their grip on systems. He talks candidly about how his own personal discipline — or lack thereof — is often reflected in the performance of his restaurants. When meetings stop, when accountability slips, it shows up in the business. The key? Getting back to basics, reviewing the checklist and staying consistent.

How coaching changed his perspective

Militello learned to see himself as a coach instead of a boss. That shift in mindset, from “do as I say” to “let’s grow together,” made all the difference. By stepping out of day-to-day tasks and focusing on mentoring his managers, he built a stronger, more empowered team. Today, he oversees three restaurants, and his managers know how to run the show without him constantly stepping in.

Why systems create freedom

One of the biggest takeaways from Militello’s journey is how systems create true freedom. He’s no longer the one taking inventory, writing schedules or answering every question. Instead, he focuses on oversight, strategic leadership, and staying financially responsible. He emphasizes that while systems don’t run on autopilot, having them in place makes it easier to identify issues and fix them fast.

The power of being yourself as a leader

We talked about authenticity and how leadership doesn’t have to look one way. Militello’s calm, measured style is totally different from my high-energy, in-your-face coaching style but both work. The secret is being honest, transparent and creating an environment where people feel empowered and appreciated. Whether you’re introverted or extroverted, what matters is being real.

Why coaching matters

Running a restaurant is overwhelming. Militello shared how critical it is to have outside perspective: to work on the business, not just in it. Without a coach or a peer group, it's easy to get lost in the grind. A great coach helps you stay accountable, uncover blind spots and evolve as a leader. As Militello put it, “You can't feed your business if you’re too consumed by it.”

Restaurant owner’s words of wisdom

Militello’s final advice? Get out of your own way. Let your team step up. Take action. Learn something new. Whether you're just starting your systems journey or you're a seasoned operator, there’s always another level. And if you're feeling stuck or alone, don’t go it alone. Coaching and community can make all the difference.

Click the podcast player above to listen in, or you can watch the video on YouTube, click here to download the latest episode.